Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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