At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
