I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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