He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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