well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
