So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
