I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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