I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My life is pants optional.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
