Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
