That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
