White coat. Heels.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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