On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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