friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You made out with two different species that night
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
