he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
