she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
