Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
