Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When did angry sex become our thing?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
