he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
