You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
a search helicopter?!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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