At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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