saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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