butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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