Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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