he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
