is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
