The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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