just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
