She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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