put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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