Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
