Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
