i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
