why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
