You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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