Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
