I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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