The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
