so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
