I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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