I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
