Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
