So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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