no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
