normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
