I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
