I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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