mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
