The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
