and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
