Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
